Many people think small talk gets in the way. But it can help writers build the relationships they want their readers to notice.
Let’s explore whether small talk belongs in a story, or if it’s a waste of time.
What is small talk?
Small talk is an informal conversation. It’s considered polite to engage in small talk with colleagues, acquaintances, and strangers.
Topics in small talk are often lighthearted, such as the weather or a pop culture trend. Even though small talk covers simple topics, it can help readers bond with the characters on the page.
The benefits of small talk
Deep conversations are great, but you usually can’t jump into them with someone you don’t know. Small talk has several benefits, such as:
Acts as a great conversation starter.
Feels emotionally good.
Helps build a bond.
Prevents awkward silences.
Tips for making small talk in a work-in-progress
Now that you know some benefits of small talk, let’s look at how writers can get better at it. It might not be deeply fulfilling, but it’s a good first step toward building deeper connections.
Select an existing scene, or create something brand new. Put the characters in a low-key situation, such as standing around the water cooler, taking public transportation together, or whatever suits your story’s setting.
Start by having one character ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes-or-no answer. Most people like talking about themselves, so asking how they are or what they’re up to is a good way to begin.
A character can talk about the event that they’re at or headed to, an unusual hobby, or a situation at work. Then see how far you can take the conversation.
Add an eavesdropper who has nothing to do with the scene; someone who completely misunderstands the whole conversation. Maybe it’s the characters’ meet-cute that you’ve had in the back of your head, but wasn’t necessarily key to the plot. Finally putting it down on paper might help a writer see how these characters met, and why they’re an enduring pair.
Writers can find a place for the generated material in the work-in-progress, or simply use it as a writing exercise. The more a writer can frolic in their characters’ world, the better the final draft can be.
“Despite everything, no one can dictate who you are to other people.” Prince
“Identity” is defined as “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is; a close similarity or affinity.” We develop our identities from birth, test the waters with them throughout childhood, and crystallize who we are in adolescence.
But after high school, I got the distinct feeling that you were supposed to know who you were and you were not expected to deviate away from that. That implies that your identity in adulthood is generalized stagnation.
Stagnation prevents knowledge, prevents acceptance of the strangeness society simply is, and builds a spiritual wall between ourselves and the world at large.
How many people do you personally know that are unable to walk away from the stagnation of their identity in the current version of their life? I know many. I was that person at one point.
The resounding refrain from those who cling to the static definition of identity is “I cannot do that.” My armchair diagnosis is that in order to let go of the person they were yesterday, they must remove the “cannot” from their vocabularies.
Therefore, I argue that the following poems advise us that we are able to change the definition of identity and realize that it is fluid, that it is merely a stepping stone to becoming the best person we can possibly be.
Nathalie Handal says in the prologue of “Language for a New Century: Contemporary Poetry from the Middle East, Asia, and Beyond” that “the speaker’s lines become a way to recollect the past and present, become prayer and meditation, ultimately declaring the importance for us to know that we have the final choice when it comes to the direction we want to take.”
Who you were yesterday is not who you are today. Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow. The only way to accept this is to be conscious of it and embrace it when the opportunity comes along.
And in that vein, the three poems I chose reflect an aspect of my past, present and future identity.
Thank you for subscribing to Whimsy, a weekly newsletter designed to help creatives sustainably improve their literary citizenship compiled each week by the Melted Ink Media team and friends for your consumption. Share the love and mention the newsletter to your friends and enemies.
Time to get writing! What does this picture evoke for you? Write about it, and if you’re so inclined, email me back and let me know if anything came out of it.
Say no, live free: 7 reasons why saying no can change your life
The fear of disappointing others or missing out on opportunities can lead to over-commitment and burnout. No one person can do everything. So, remember that “no” is a complete sentence.
Ultimately, the benefits of saying “no” can pave the way for a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life. Saying “no” can reclaim personal time, energy, and improve mental health, including the following benefits.
Stress reduction: Reducing commitments can bring a strong sense of relief. By focusing on what’s important, we can feel less burdened. This extra mental space can help reestablish goals and desires.
Assertiveness: If you can’t personally help someone, it’s okay to say no. No matter how important they are, they need no explanation beyond stating that you already have a full schedule.
Personal improvement: Imagine consciously cutting back on activities that drain energy and joy. People can reclaim precious time to dive into passion projects.
Help others: Rather than taking on work that you can’t give all of your energy to, consider declining new work, reassigning nonessential tasks to someone you trust, or recommending someone else who can perform the same work.
Respect yourself: Setting clear and firm boundaries is essential for fostering an environment where others learn to treat you with the same level of respect and consideration.
Say yes: Saying “no” allows you to say “yes.” If you learn to say no to things that don’t advance what you’re trying to build in any measurable way, you’ll have time to say yes to things that do.
Reclaim energy: People who frequently agree to every request or invitation might struggle to fulfill obligations. So it’s important to save energy for the tasks that deserve it.
Cybersecurity is constantly evolving, with new threats emerging regularly.
Having a secure online presence is essential for businesses and individuals who collect user information. Although larger, well-known companies tend to be prime targets for cyberattacks, small and medium-sized organizations, as well as individuals, are also at risk. Every website is vulnerable to cybersecurity breaches, whether it’s a small blog, a large e-commerce platform, or anything in between.
Staying informed about vulnerabilities and attack methods can help website owners take proactive measures and demonstrate a commitment to safety. Common threats to data security include viruses, phishing scams, hardware and software vulnerabilities, and network security gaps. By understanding these risks in advance, website owners can better protect their users’ information.
Here are tips that a site owner can use to improve a website’s security and protect their users.
1. Use HTTPS
Web browsers, such as Microsoft Edge and Google Chrome, communicate with websites using the Hypertext Transfer Protocol, or HTTP. HTTP is acceptable if the website doesn’t require personal information to access, such as a site that offers an article to read or shares weather information.
The secure version of HTTP is HTTPS. Websites that use HTTPS encrypt all communication between a browser and the site. Sites without HTTPS are not safe and should never be used to handle personal data.
2. Software updates
If a website uses a content management system like WordPress, it’s essential to deploy official updates for plugins and themes to address any security vulnerabilities.
WordPress can be set to update as soon as a new version is available, or the software can be updated manually.
3. Conduct backups
Site owners should regularly back up their site data to ensure a quick restoration in case of a security breach or data loss.
There are many ways to complete this task, such as conducting a manual backup, hiring a reliable third party, or purchasing software to automate it daily, weekly, or hourly, depending on a site owner’s budget and preferred schedule.
4. Monitor and analyze website traffic
Website owners should conduct regular security scans to identify and fix vulnerabilities before attackers have a chance to exploit them.
It’s also important to monitor website traffic for any unusual activity, as this could indicate a hacking attempt or a security breach.
5. Implement strong passwords
Use complex passwords for all accounts associated with a website. Complex passwords have at least eight characters and include a combination of numbers, upper and lowercase letters, and special characters.
One creative way to create complex passwords is to use song titles. For example, Arctic Monkeys’ “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?” is 2 minutes and 41 seconds long. Breaking it down might become “AmWyocMwYh241.”
6. Use two-factor authentication
Enable two-factor authentication (2FA) for added security, requiring a second form of verification in addition to passwords.
A website might require text message verification or use a randomly generated numeric code from an external authenticator app.
7. Limit user access
Grant administrative privileges to trustworthy individuals and limit user access based on their role to minimize potential risks. Choosing reputable security tools tailored to a website’s platform enhances defenses and reduces vulnerability risks.
One option is a firewall. A firewall acts like a security guard, preventing unauthorized people or programs from accessing specific networks or computers from the internet. Installing a web application firewall, or WAF, and software-specific security plugins can help filter malicious traffic and block attacks.
8. Educate users
Inform users about potential security threats, such as phishing emails, and how to protect themselves while using the site. A phishing email will try to trick users into providing confidential data to steal money or information.
A screenshot of a typical spam email.
This email was successfully marked as spam, and there are several clues as to why it was in the provided screenshot.
For example, info@writeropolis.com is not a valid email address associated with Writeropolis Media. Also, the sender’s alleged email domain is not a domain typically associated with a human. Furthermore, the receiver wasn’t expecting an email from “Charlotte,” nor was the email addressed to a specific person. On top of that, the URL is potentially sending whomever clicks on it to an unsafe website.
I’m a little surprised by what my Apple Music subscription picked up to add to my top 100 songs of 2025. Give it a listen, or take a gander below.
I included some of my favorite lyrics from a few of the songs too, just for fun.
“Blame (featuring John Newman)” by Calvin Harris
“So blame it on the night/Don’t blame it on me, don’t blame it on me.”
“Midnight City” by M83
“Lay Your Head on My) Pillow” by Tony! Toni! Toné!
“Flowers (featuring Sugababes)” by DJ Spoony
“Single (featuring Ne-Yo” by New Kids on the Block
“He don’t tell you that he loves you girl/Let me sing it in a harmony.”
“Better the Devil You Know” by Steps
“Nights Like This (featuring Ty Dolla $ign)” by Kehlani
“For the Love of Money” by the O’Jays
“Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)” by Kate Bush
“Runnin’” by the Pharcyde
“It’s 1995 now that I’m older/stress weighs on my shoulders/heavy as boulders but I told ya/till the day that I die I still will be a soldier.”
“Firestarter” by the Prodigy
“Auntie Diaries” by Kendrick Lamar
“Streets (Silhouette Remix)” by Doja Cat
“Thank God I Found You (featuring Joe & Nas) (Make It Last Remix)” by Mariah Carey
“Control Myself (featuring Jennifer Lopez)” by LL Cool J
“Tell Me” by Groove Theory
“I’ve been doing my own thing/Love has always had a way of having bad timing/But to my great surprise, ever since I looked in your eyes/I had one question for you.”
“Peg” by Steely Dan
“2 On (featuring ScHoolboy Q)” by Tinashe
“Sky Full of Song” by Florence + The Machine
“I Know” by Dionne Farris
“I know what you’re doing, yeah, yeah/I can never sing in that key/I know what you’re doing, yeah, yeah/And you’re the one to blame.”
“In Another Life” by The Killers
“The Fever” by The Academy Is…
“Sugababes on the Run” by Sugababes
“Zombieboy” by Lady Gaga
“Under the Sun” by Cheryl
“Lapdance (featuring Vita & Lee Harvey)” by N.E.R.D.
“Smokin’ Out the Window” by Silk Sonic
“Can’t Get Used to Losing You” by The Beat
“I’ll find somebody, wait and see/Who am I kiddin’, only me/’Cause no one else could take your place/Guess that I am just a hopeless case.”
“Cut You Off” by Little Mix
“Fun Tonight” by Lady Gaga
“(Fuck a) Silver Lining” by Panic! at the Disco
“Pieces of What” by MGMT
“Not Today” by Alessia Cara
“Feels” by Kehlani
“It Won’t Be Long” by The Beatles
“New York Mining Disaster 1941” by Bee Gees
“Oh England My Lionheart” by Kate Bush
“Incapable (Extended Mix)” by Róisín Murphy
“Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)” by The Jacksons
“The Other Half (featuring St. Beauty & Mereba)” by Jidenna
“The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” by Leopold Stowkowski & the Philadelphia Orchestra
“In the Morning” by Jefferson Airplane
“When It Hurts So Bad” by Lauryn Hill
“I Belong to You (+Mon Coeur S’Ouvre A Ta Voix)” by Muse
“For the Love of You” by Tony! Toni! Toné!
“Touch It/Technologic” by Daft Punk
“I’ll Give All My Love to You” by Keith Sweat
“Dancing Shoes” by Dev
“Reasons” by Earth, Wind & Fire
“Always and Forever” by Luther Vandross
“I Still Believe” by Tim Cappello
“I’m flat on my back out at sea/Hoping those waves don’t cover me/I’m turned and tossed upon the waves/When the darkness comes, I feel the grave.”
“Dancing with Myself” by Generation X
“You Owe Me (featuring Ginuwine)” by Nas
“Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J
“Overrated” by Siobhán Donaghy
“Will I ever lose these old Catholic blues/That direct my shoes, give me the strength to choose/I feel all low, the fear won’t grow/If I show it just where to go/But I don’t know.”
“More Than a Feeling” by Boston
“1010 (Rin Tin Tin)” by Prince
“Hi’ilawe” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
“Now That We Found Love” by the O’Jays
“I Love Me Some Him” by Toni Braxton
“Bravado” by Rush
“Everybody Loves a Loser” by Morcheeba
“Jaded” by Disclosure
“Heaven Knows” by Squeeze
“You wind me up and I drive you mad/It’s a fact of life, it goes hand in hand/And I know that look, it’s read like a book.”
“Summer Breeze (Philip Steir Remix)” by Seals & Croft
“My Name Is” by Eminem
“Mr. Pessimist” by Tears for Fears
“Dialect” by Siobhán Donaghy
“Anytime You Need a Friend” by Mariah Carey
“You Stole the Sun From My Heart” by Manic Street Preachers
“Megalomaniac” by KMFDM
“Breakdown Motel” by Mutya Buena
“Today the Sun’s on Us” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor
“Come Undone” by Duran Duran
“Words, playing me deja vu/Like a radio tune I swear I’ve heard before/Chill, is it something real/Or the magic I’m feeding off your fingers?”
“Bet (featuring Devonté Hynes)” by Tinashe
“Heart of Stone” by Cher
“Stand Inside Your Love” by Smashing Pumpkins
“Holding Back the Years” by Simply Red
“Yo Te Voy a Amar (This I Promise You)” by *NSYNC
“Can’t Hide Love” by Earth, Wind & Fire
“Fly” by Traci Lords
“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears
“There’s a room where the light won’t find you/Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down/When they do I’ll be right behind you.”
“Time To Say Goodbye (Solo Version)” by Sarah Brightman
“How Long Do I Have to Wait for You?” by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
“I asked your mama, I asked your papa/Your friends, your preacher and your boss/No one knows where you’re going to, baby/Or if you’re coming back to me/Or if we’re together or are we lost?”
“Private Number” by the Jets
“Jump” by Kylie Minogue
“So Much Trouble in the World” by Bob Marley & the Wailers
“Shadows on Your Side” by Duran Duran
“Ain’t That Peculiar” by Fanny
“Deadlines & Diets” by Girls Aloud
“I’m cool until reality/Hits me in the face and drops the phone in the tea and/You’ve left no number/Left your wedding ring/There’s nothing left to do but kick back and sing.”
“SOS” by Rihanna
“It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” by Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington
“You Mean the World to Me” by Toni Braxton
“Cause you mean the world to me/You are my everything/I swear the only thing that matters/Matters to me/Oh baby, baby, baby, baby, baby/cause you mean so much/to me.”
“Gonna Try It Anyway” by Lisa Stansfield
“Home and Dry” by Pet Shop Boys
“Celebration” by Kylie Minogue
“Still Here (featuring Skip, Wacko)” by Juvenile
“Leila” by Indochine
“Your Love Alone is Not Enough (featuring Nina Persson)” by Manic Street Preachers
“But your love alone won’t save the world/You knew the secret of the universe/Despite it all you made it worse/It left you lonely/It left you cursed.”
Thank you for subscribing to Whimsy, a weekly newsletter designed to help creatives sustainably improve their literary citizenship compiled each week by the Melted Ink Media team and friends for your consumption. Share the love and mention the newsletter to your friends and enemies.
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Small steps, big impact: 6 reasons to focus on self-improvement today
The path to self-improvement is more than about reaching goals.
Self-improvement encompasses a series of small, manageable changes that come together to enhance our overall well-being and effectiveness.
Although selfish contains the word self, selfish means “lacking consideration for others.” The good news is that self-improvement isn’t selfish. On the contrary, self-improvement benefits you and society.
Self-discovery, personal development, and self-improvement are important for all adults. These processes help individuals grow in mind, body, and spirit.
To create a personal development plan, a good place to start is with a SWOT analysis for different areas in life. A SWOT analysis helps identify strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. These areas might include spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, or financial areas.
Here are some reasons why self-improvement should be a priority.
1. Clarify a vision
Writing down goals helps document what steps are missing and can highlight overarching issues that prevent someone from reaching a goal.
For example, if Lisa’s long-term vision is to be physically healthy, but a sedentary life and poor eating habits is the reality, Lisa needs to identify that.
2. Enhance strengths
A good self-development plan focuses on strengths. Don’t ignore the weaknesses, but try to concentrate on what brings joy and what you can do within your capacity. There are always going to be opportunities to outsource, delegate, automate, and learn.
For example, Lisa can’t take on everything everywhere all at once, no matter how positive the results might be for her. So, if she’s looking to scale her business, she might decide to outsource video marketing.
3. Find a purpose
Setting goals and reflecting on the reasons for pursuing them can and should provide motivation to keep moving forward.
But be realistic. Building a purposeful life isn’t acquired by driving down a one-way street. Oftentimes, that drive will take 20 left-hand turns, several roundabouts, and rolling stops at different periods of time, as learning and growing take place.
4. Improve mental health
Self-awareness is an important part of personal growth. It helps understand emotions and identify certain behavioral patterns that might need professional help.
It can also help find other areas in life that could use support or guidance.
5. Create strong relationships
Understanding thoughts and feelings and how personal actions affect others can help build better relationships.
For example, Lisa makes an effort to actively listen to friends and family, showing empathy to their emotions. Active listening helps Lisa manage personal emotions, which helps her friends and family see her as safe, stable, and trustworthy.
6. Make it count
Having a clear understanding of how to reach personal, professional, or academic goals can start the process to break down these goals into actionable tasks.
Each day can count toward accomplishing long-term goals by time blocking to nurture work tasks, family responsibilities, and self-care pursuits.
Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth. However, it’s not suitable for everyone.
It’s because many people view writing as a sacred form of expression, but let’s be honest: it’s not! It can also be unpleasant.
There have been times in my life when journaling felt like a chore, because the words I wrote were an uncomfortable reflection of my mental state at the time. So, I decided to take a break until I felt ready to confront those feelings.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, that’s perfectly okay. Remember, no one will read this but you, so feel free to express your thoughts, opinions, and feelings however you like.
With that in mind, here are some reasons why people shouldn’t feel pressured to journal.
1. Limited bandwidth
People who struggle to focus on a single task for an extended period might find journaling frustrating. Those with wandering minds might find it challenging to stay on track with their writing.
Freewriting might help with this drawback. Freewriting means writing nonstop for a set amount of time. You shouldn’t worry about grammar, spelling, or the topic. Also, journaling isn’t a formal exercise, so try changing the approach to whatever feels suitable in the moment.
2. Uncomfortable feelings arise
Journaling encourages self-reflection and honesty. If you’re not comfortable getting to a deeper level of your emotional journey, journaling can feel uncomfortable.
Writing about topics beyond the self might help. Jot down your thoughts on current events, a favorite TV show, a book you’re reading, or anything else that resonates emotionally.
3. Resistance to change
Journaling might be less effective for those who are uncomfortable with change. The act of journaling requires a willingness to reflect on life and can help identify unusual patterns. If you’re not ready to confront these challenges head-on, journaling feels more like a chore, like I did.
To look at this drawback differently, consider writing about your resistance to change. Why do you fear change? What do you think will happen if you do? Exploring this resistance can help shift a personal perspective.
4. Emotional discomfort
Writing can provoke intense emotions, regardless of the topic. For individuals diving into journaling for the first time or returning after a long hiatus, it will more than likely be wildly uncomfortable.
You have an important role to play in achieving fairness and justice. Fighting against racism is something we all must do, no matter our background.
This guide to existing resources can help you take part in anti-racist actions. These resources include educational materials, books, and online tools. They can work together to build understanding, empathy, and action. By using these strategies, we can work together to break down systemic inequality and create a more inclusive society.
Whether you’re starting to learn about racial issues or want to expand your knowledge, these resources can be a starting point to understand and address different needs. It’s non-exhaustive, and will change and evolve over time. But I hope in some way that it helps.
13th: A documentary exploring the history of racial inequality in the U.S. prison system.
I Am Not Your Negro: The film explores the history of racism in the United States through Baldwin’s recollections of civil rights leaders Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King Jr., as well as his personal observations of American history.
When They See Us: A dramatization of the true story of the Central Park Five, addressing race, justice, and wrongful convictions.
The inspiration for this mixtape was getting lyrical earworms stuck in my head. Yes, I could obsessively listen to a song to get it out of my brain, but as a poet, I always see them as jumping off point for something else. So I put this mix together, using lyrics from a bunch of different love songs.
We've only just met and I'm undressing you with my eyes If you want me to, I'll give you just a little more time to decide Someday soon I'm gonna make this dream come true I call you up and ask you, would you like to go with me and see a movie My friends wonder what is wrong with me Making love to you was never second best Never worried about you baby, jumping in and out of bed And when you're dancing by yourself, I completely fall to pieces
These are the songs that these individual lyrics come from.
“Undressing You” by Emma Bunton.
“7 Ways” by Abs.
“I Dream” by Billie Piper.
“Spooky” by Classics IV.
“What You Won’t Do for Love” by Bobby Caldwell.
“I Melt with You” by Modern English.
“Choosey Lover (Old School/New School)” by Aaliyah.
